The Essence of Art

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I have a fond memory of going to an Art Gallery with a childhood friend when I was about 10 years old and getting my first exposure to abstract art. It was a strange experience and I couldn't really understand the point of coloured squares with no more detail than that, but my vivid imagination tried to find images within these undefinable paintings. I was quickly told that that was not the point. My friend and I proceeded to mockingly point at every object in the gallery from chairs to tables and say "that must be art too!" This experience was the first time I asked myself the question: what makes something art? That's what I'll be exploring in this post.

For me the fundamental quality of art is the touch of self expression. Let me expand. Since that early memory that I recounted, my definition of art broadened rapidly. I used to see art as painting or drawing, this changed to encapsulate all the artisanal crafts then eventually sports and martial arts, until at some point it reached a critical point of becoming seemingly undefinable.

Since training Jiu-Jitsu my eye for bodily movement grew significantly and it quickly became one of my main tools for assessing the people around me. I felt I could learn more from the way a person walked than the words they chose to speak. I also noticed that a certain few people, seemed to me as if they were walking with an elevated grace. Not a grace that you could define by class, or something that could be intentionally replicated. Rather, a quality that came from the embodyment of the phrase "this is me." This realization showed me that art is in every action if one is able to embody their true nature in that action. 

I found many people who worry about expressing themselves but this desire to show themselves to the world is in itself something that gets in the way of true self expression. Instead, the real self comes only in those moments that are so entrancing that one forgets themselves. Picture an artist, who has sat down at their desk to draw everyday for the past 10 years. It's not a special occurrence, it's such a part of their life, that it has become part of them. They might have days where the process is difficult and slow, today is not one of those days. Today they take their pencil between thumb and forefinger, and with the briefest flash of inspiration they set to work. The lead dances across the paper, leaving it's permanent shadow, and before long the artist stops, puts down the pencil and stands up. They stretch briefly and without examining their work, leave to make lunch. Resting on the desk is a work of true art.

What leads to that state that allows someone to express themselves? In my opinion there's two main paths to this. The first is the more common, seen in the example of the artist above. This is the path of rigorous practice. In repeating an action over and over again, it becomes such a part of you that it becomes easier to fall into that state of no mind. I fail to hit the target in 1000 shots, yet on the next, when all hope is lost, my arrow strikes true.

The second path is far more difficult to attain. This is the path of self discovery. Learning about yourself and what holds you down, tracing the route of your every tendency back to it's origin and building a more loving relationship with yourself can lead to dissolving all the things that obscure your true self. Expecting perfection, worrying about acceptance from others, self judgement, suppressed emotions are all things that manifest in front of us when we move through the world and they all stem from our wounded selves. So through healing ourself we can get to a place of free expression. A gruelling but worthy goal.

So does that mean that someone who has walked this second path can approach anything and produce art? Well, there is an other aspect to art that I haven't mentioned yet and that is skill. The reason I focused so heavily on the self expression side of art, is because skill is actually much easier to come by. For the most part, if you dedicate a large amount of time and practice to something you will become skillful. It's a much more simple path. You can find a lot of artists with skill, yet few who can truly and consistently express themselves (read my next post on how this idea shows up in Jiu-Jitsu)

Why is skill needed to produce art? It might seem obvious to some but it's worth talking about. Like a baby who has no issues with authenticity, but can only express basic needs and emotions. A painter with a clear mind but no skill, can only produce the beginnings of art. Skill is like the language that lets us express more complex ideas.

So in that place where a mind free of judgement meets a skilled hand art is born. 

I truly believe Art is the essence of humanity, and should be pursued and encouraged way more by society as a whole.

The Value of an Open Journal

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Like with everything, the value of journaling comes from the enjoyment it brings to you. Why make that process public though? That's the question I'll be exploring in the first post on this blog.

I won't be trying to sound smart or appeal to an audience. Some posts might be long, some might be short, this blog will be an open platform for me to share my thoughts, whatever they are. I'll most likely talk about a mix of personal topics, like life and art as well as Jiu-Jitsu. Whatever the topic will be, I'll do my best to make whatever I write here as genuine as possible.

So why am I choosing to share this journal so that anyone can see? First I want to go back in time a bit to the beginning of the dreaded lockdown era. I had just come off the back of losing a couple of competitions (quite badly injured in the more recent one) and breaking up with my girlfriend at the time. The realization was seeping in that it might be a while before I competed again or saw any type of outward victory. So I set myself a rule. I wouldn't post anything on social media, until I won my next competition. That was a rule I stuck to, and my next post came 2 years later in my first competition after that period.

Why did I set myself that rule at the time? To the me of almost 5 years ago, there was no purpose in sharing any part of myself unless it was some outward accomplishment. If I wasn't achieving something, I had no value and had nothing to share. That mindset drove me towards some results, as it does for many, then inevitably towards burn out and despair.

A few years later, the vast and crazy experiences of life hit me and I was forced to change my perspective on a tonne of things. Initially I began to post more on social media as a way of growing my career, yet this always felt wrong, dishonest. Then I started to understand myself better, my deep rooted need for perfection and how that encroached on each aspect of my life. How could I overcome those unrealistic standards I set for myself? The first step was to accept my humanity, allow myself to make mistakes.

Sharing about matches I lost was one of the first things I began to do. It felt great to release that part of myself, whereas before I would have suppressed and hid it away, leaving it to grow into a more violent insecurity. Yet that still wasn't the full picture of me. I was still hiding parts of myself back. There's not necessarily any problem with that. I don't share now as some kind of compulsion to show every aspect of myself to the world, not for any kind of attention. I share now because why not. There were too many times where I stopped myself from sharing something for the fear of people's perception.

For years I withheld my taste in music, interest in art and manga, my opinions and even my own face (podium pictures don't count) for fear of judgement. Even if it was perfectly natural to share some aspects of my person, I would instead build barriers with the excuse of being mysterious. So now I allow myself to flow freely (to the best that I can) and slowly try to accept more and more of myself. Completely judgement free. 

Ultimately Instagram was too short for all the thoughts I have to record. These are the words of a recovering Over-Thinker afterall.